So are you trying to say it isn't about me?

I sat down with a friend, Gary Felder, one day to tell him about a project I've been working on and developing for the past year called American Soul. I told him about the concept: my life and struggle to break into the music industry. He said (with all due respect of course) a show about you is cool, but I think what you really need is something that will be beneficial to others instead. Maybe people don't wanna watch you living out your dreams every week while they sit in their own cages waiting to break out and break into something new (he didn't use those words...I made it sound prettier than he did)

So that night I went for one of my usual late night walks to talk to God about the whole thing. I took what Gary said to heart and tried to rethink the concept to make it more inclusive. I began to focus on the website surrounding the series rather than the series itself in an effort to create a way for people to become more involved and active with the series and ultimately with their own lives. I won't go into detail about what concepts I began to envision but I do want to share with you the framework I'm beginning to see take place with me lately.

I've been singing since I was 5 in my dad's church choir. I wrote my first song when I was 13 and I've been pursuing music ever since. This whole time I've been thinking of ways to make my dreams a reality. This whole time I've been trying to create marketing concepts that would help put me on the map and make people take notice of me. And yeah I always say to myself, I want the music I make to be beneficial to others and that it’s all about ministry and blah blah blah. But that night as I was walking and talking with God it was as though He flipped a switch, opening my eyes to something I was too engulfed with my own aspirations to see. I'm finally beginning to grasp the concept that perhaps has been right in front of me all along. This whole music thing is not really about me....it never was. It’s not about me saying "Hello everyone, here I AM look at me!" Instead, it’s about me saying: "Hello everyone, here I AM…how can I help you? Can I help you find yourself?"

Music is my passion. But my passion isn't there to bring me pleasure. It’s there to help ignite YOUR passion. What if I were to say..."I can show you the tools you need to create something different in this life far beyond what you've ever imagined." And what if I not only showed you the tools, tools that you undoubtedly already posses, but that I helped you learn the craftsmanship behind using those tools? What if me being the best possible musician/singer/songwriter weren't about me amassing wealth but instead helping others find the wealth of creativity and passion inside of themselves? Yes. I know that by writing good songs that maybe it will give people the emotional boost they need to make them feel as though they can survive. But what if I were able to influence people in a way that gave them the confidence to do more than survive, but to conquer the world? Wow. What a concept that would be. A performer who is focused on how well others perform on the stage of their own individual lives.

OK God. So, is that all you've been trying to tell me for the last 28 years? Well why didn't you just say so in the first place? *big gulp* So now what...?